Feb 4 2010

good enough

corn bread muffins
My heart, body and mind are happy to be home but I’m still adjusting.

After six months of packing my suitcase, counting every penny and putting all of my focus on a city, I find I’m desperate just to breathe a little.

I’m slowly re-acquainting myself with Vancouver, the people here and my own thoughts and dreams.

I find myself cooking and baking like crazy, and that the best way to re-connect is over a hot meal and a glass of wine.  It is so simple but so important.

I love the way a good dinner can transform a room and those in it.  When I can cook for people, pour them a glass of wine, and watch them enjoy all of the things that make this life worth living…I feel like myself.  Part of me feels like I was born to encourage taking pleasure in life.

Growing up, I remember the home coming alive when people would come for dinner.  The white linen table cloth would come out, candles would be lit, gorgeous food would sit up on the kitchen counter to nibble at and my mother would smell of Opium perfume, her long eyelashes coated with mascara and her dress floating down to the ground.

So slowly, as I get comfortable, I am inviting friends for dinner, setting the table and setting the tone for my life here.

I continue to do job interviews, and struggle with the idea of someone not wanting to hire me.  As confident as I am, there are moments when I ask myself if I’m good enough.

But what is good enough?  Every day I am true to myself.  I am honest.  I try to make those around me smile.  That, sometimes, is more than good enough.

Tonight my friend came over after a day training at pastry school with a chocolate ganache cake and a lemon tart.  He is following his dreams and I couldn’t be more proud.

I made a big pot of chili and we threw around ideas of starting our own business.  We may even get to be a part of a farmer’s market this summer.  He gets excited over food in the same way I do and wants to bring people back to the basics with baking.

Dinner was nothing fancy, but like me, it was honest, hearty and a little bit spicy.

And like me, it was good enough, and it will be even better tomorrow.

Cornbread muffins
corn bread muffins
corn bread muffins
corn bread muffins
Cornbread with herb butter
herb butter
cornbread muffins and herb butter
Big pot of vegetable rich chili
chili
Appetizers
veggies
My friend and his beautiful cake
mitchell and his cake