There was once a young woman who lived in Paris and took herself on dates. She would go to smoky bars, listen to live music, and nurse a chilled glass of vodka for hours with a cigarette in hand. She took herself to the movies, exotic markets, traditional French restaurants and cafes for simple meals and house wine.
Occasionally she'd cry on the metro over lost loves. Some nights she would blast her favourite Mason Jennings songs out of her apartment and write.
Most nights she'd walk the streets of Paris and people watch.
One thing I have always appreciated about myself is that I enjoy my alone time. I like to push myself out of my comfort zone, explore foreign cities, and do things solo that most would do with a friend or partner.
Being this way has afforded me to meet people I never normally would and settle into that lonely feeling with comfort and love for myself.
Paris ex-pat friends, 2005
I am re-building that relationship.
Friday night I took myself to the theatre. I saw an emotional play about a middle aged couple working through their problems. Saturday night I took myself out for a glass of wine before meeting a friend for dinner and listened to some live jazz. I was hesitant to step into the noisy bar alone, but glass of wine in hand, became content very quickly.
It is easy to lose yourself in the day to day. We fall into our routines. We go home, make dinner, watch television, break plans, and do what feels easy. There's nothing wrong in any of this but it can be numbing.
I don't want to make my world smaller, I want to make it bigger.
We'll see where this journey takes me.