I wake up in the light of my friend's small room. She calls it a cabin. With the low ceiling, checkered bed sheets and big fur throw that warms my body I can see why.
I adjust to my surroundings and smile. I am safe, I am happy, I am loved. Three things I wish to feel my whole life even though some mornings feel quite the opposite.
The other week when I lost my purse, keys and phone, I checked into a hotel at 2 a.m. terrified. Luckily I had my bank cards in my pocket. I was physically unharmed but the night rattled me hard. I woke up the next morning and for a faint second thought "oh good I'm in my bed," before I realized I was in a strange hotel room on my own.
Life has been throwing me a lot of the unexpected. Sometimes I feel I am being tested. Or more likely, taught. Slowly all creature comforts and normalcy seem to be slipping out of my hands. And while I often crave the state of discomfort, the state of growth, I forget how soul shaking it can be to be in the thrust of it.
I crave adventure, the unknown, the fight against normalcy and a boring life. But I also crave waking up in the morning feeling those three things : safe, happy, loved.
I hope it is not too much to ask.