Love Me Until I'm Me Again
This week I wrapped Christmas gifts and wrapped up another job. I am in awe of this year.
Last New Year's eve I sat with my family, and my now boyfriend's family, and we shared our goals for 2014. Mine was:
“I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my Fool.” ― Theodore Isaac Rubin
I did. I took risks. I felt a lot. I talked to people who scared me. I took jobs that intimated me. I drifted. I burned out all of my savings. I did this.
Because I took chances I ended up in Vancouver. I came home to a place that hadn't felt like home in years, and re-discovered my life and family here. They love me, house me, trust me, and encourage all of my crazy dreams. They remind me every day what it means to be a family and to love each other. I am so lucky.
Learning to love my inner fool led me to some great opportunities. I worked in a food truck. I flew around the world with a TV crew filming the biggest reality show in Canada. I got sent to Japan to write.
I fell in love.
Life is not a storybook and it doesn't always unfold the way you expect it to. But good things happen. Random experiences connect you with incredible people.
With the year ahead, I'm taking what I learned and moving forward with purpose.
I am grateful that I learned to love the fool in me - that I learned to love myself again. I really do feel alive again.