You think it would get easier, this whole long distance thing, but it gets harder. The more I love him the more it hurts to see him go.
Earlier in the day a country song played "I'm hard to love, and you make it easy," and I joked that it was about us. He begged to differ, but I know that I can still keep my walls up. The coming and goings of our relationship is exhausting at times and I don't hide my emotions.
But as complicated as I make things, he makes it easy.
On this visit we took off to the Okanagan the morning after we arrived. He rented a jeep and we drove through the mountains with the top down until we realized how cold it was. We went wine tasting and spent a morning swinging through the trees on tight ropes in an adventure park. Back in Vancouver we tried a few new things, like paddle boarding, and revisited some of our favourite spots.
Last summer he was brave enough to come here and take a risk on me. Back then I got by on a rebellious attitude and a focus on my career. Since then I have learned to let go of my ego and to give myself the time I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. As much as it sucks to say that I still don't really know, it feels good to soften.
I miss him already but I am also excited to see how we grow.