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Competitor Series: Emotions 2 Weeks Out

And just like that, I'm 2 weeks out from my first fitness competition. I am hungry, exhausted, emotional and sore in a way I've never experienced before. For the first time in this prep, I'm not enjoying my workouts.

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But I'm so close.

I have so many thoughts about competing that I don't know how to put into words.

I read this article today which sums it up well. Especially this part:

At the start of your journey, you may think you're just working on your body, but getting ready to take the stage truly challenges you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. You'll find new and vulnerable parts of yourself, but you'll also uncover strength and discipline you didn't know you had.

This whole thing has been a crazy experience. It has taken a lot of patience, effort, sacrifice and discipline. A lot of trust in my own abilities. A lot of courage. A lot of creativity to make it happen on a budget. Strength in every way of the word.

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Competing is a selfish sport that not everyone understands. You need to be stubborn about your goals and it can be extremely socially isolating. When you try to explain to people that you're going to get on stage in a sequin bikini and a spray tan to show off your figure it can be taken many ways.

But as I get leaner and ready for the stage, I'm not thinking less about how I look and more about all of the work that I put in to get me here. I made that muscle. I shaped my body. I put myself first. I went after a goal that scared the crap out of me.

I have applied that same attitude to other areas of my life. I moved to California. I got my driver's license after a lifetime of fear. I am marrying the love of my life. I am doing what is good for me.

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Regardless of the outcome, I am a winner.

I'll share more thoughts at the end of it all: the good, the bad and the ugly.

For now I'm going to give one strong final push and look forward to some Champagne at the end of it all (some things never change.)